omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
