rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
