u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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