it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize