yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
