so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
