when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We have started to decorate penises.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
