remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
