Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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