took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
