Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
