I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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