I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
