Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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