Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
