im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
