Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
