we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
