I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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