So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
