Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
