i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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