They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
