You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The air taste purple.
Randomize
