there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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