Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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