So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
