I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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