Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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