He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
