you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Small penises have feelings too.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
