Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
