Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
