Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
