It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
