So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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