Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
