I cockslap morals
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
