just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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