My sheets look like a crime scene.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
