Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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