PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
