it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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