Duck Duck Cougar?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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