I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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