A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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