The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Green mimosas i think yes
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think people are normalizing furries
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
