guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
