but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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