I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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