did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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