You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
