those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I booty called her while she was in labor.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
