My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
