I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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