Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
