Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
