on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
