Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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