just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
