Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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