I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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