Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She's the barista slut.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
